Hello to all mommies and mommies and mommies and…oh! i see that rare species in the count of extinction here…You know what right?…The dads! Looking at the ample amount of mommies on board i had no other choice but to address the mommies thrice.Hope the mommies and the dads are doing well here.
This post is addressed to all those silly questions that pop up in your head regarding the cutie pies that we possess. Imagine the truckloads of responsibility that a dad possess’s,lets multiply that into a 100.Well,what do we have here….
Dear dad’s work schedules+work tension+looking after family tension* 100 = Mommy’s daily dose of responsibility(with no holidays-sick leaves-or watching favorite episode of desperate housewives).OH!!!that’s long out of the program schedule.SEE, Mommies no longer know what’s going on tv soap operas.
With such a huge criteria to tackle on a everyday basis and “MOMMMMMMMY!! SHE TOOK MY CAR” cries,deafening you up everyday,it’s only normal that a mommy has quite alot of silly questions for herself.Im pretty sure these questions come barging in your head without an invitation,and leave you guilty for thinking about it.Trust me, you are perfectly normal.There’s nothing wrong with you or your love for your family,but here are a few answers.
Just yesterday, I went through a lot of guilt for overlooking my son’s inquisitiveness… **paawwhh** after a big bawling episode, I decided to repost this article as a reminder for me 😁❤️
1)AM I A GOOD PARENT?
Well,absolutely yes.If you found yourself asking this question,then it does mean that you care.It means that you want to excel in your parenting skills,It means that YOU my dear are trying hard enough to be a good parent.
2) AM I A FAILURE?
Just because your child pulled the iron almost on his hand,doesn’t qualify you in the “WORST PARENT”list. Chill,you are as much as a learner as your child.Your child has been let loose in this amazingly intriguing environment,what do you expect?Would he/she not experiment?Mistakes are such an integral part of your child’s development both mentally and physically.Surprisingly the same applies to you.
3)I’M GOING BACK TO WORK.AM I COMPROMISING WITH MY CHILD’S WELL BEING?
Going back to work,well this question really needs a little depth of understanding.As a mum,without a doubt your first priority is your child…hold on!! let me finish..it’s not over yet! But so is your happiness,your personal space and dreams.It is truely not selfish to think about you.Infact it’s really healthy.If you have sorted out all the intricacies like say” who will be looking after your child in your absence?” “what time will you be getting back home?””Can you handle work and home stress together?””How necessary is it for you to work?”YOU know better,whether you are working for a better financial position or for your dreams and passion,YOU have all the rights to go ahead and live it up.Like i always say a happy mom is a better mom.
4)I DON’T LOOK LIKE MY OLD SELF.IM FAT AND UGLY.HELP?😢😒
Except for a few moms who i sternly believe have the access to the eternal fountain of youth,it’s highly unlikely that you are going to fit in your pre university jeans again.Either you sweat it out day and night and night and day to fit in those jeans,or even better accept the fact that you are beautiful,you are a mum,you are that woman who had the privilege to be able to birth a beautiful baby,you have changed but for the best. I don’t mean to advocate unhealthy lifestyles,nor do recommend sedentary ideologies.All im trying to say is life is soooooo much more than the stress of not accepting yourself the way you are.Baby fat melts by its own schedule,rather than cribbing over the unlikely fact,accept yourself,experiment with new styles of dressing.Wear flowy dresses,dress according to your shape and stay away from ill fitting clothes no matter how trendy they are.My two cents on that.
5)I FEEL I DON’T UNDERSTAND MY CHILD WELL ENOUGH?
Guess,it’s that sub conscious mind doing the tricks.We thought the same. Din’t we? We thought that our parents never understood us,but in reality they knew us in and out.They just couldn’t figure out if what they thought was the THING confusing us. The absolute solution to this is,let your child communicate either by his “gaaa gaaa eeh’s “or by”Mum it’s my friend,he’s fared better than me.”It doesn’t matter if its a newborn or a teenager,communication breaks those little invisible barriers that start creating once you start distancing yourself.You as a parent have all the answers,just get your child to ask those crucial questions.
6)EVERYONE TOLD ME MOTHERHOOD WAS FUN.IT’S NOT!AM I CRAZY TO THINK THIS?
No, you’re not.People have by far exaggerated motherhood to the extremes.Telling you all stories of how lovely it feels to be a mother,how they have never been upset since the baby,how everything in their lives is back to normal,and sometimes…how eager they are to have another one. Gear up love..I can guarantee you that all that is nothing but their wishful thinking of not accepting reality,or ahem ahem..your sweet acquaintance is lying straight to your sweet gullible and vulnerable face.ALAS!! You do make it that evident.Don’t you? Lets think of motherhood like this..”You have your dream job…sounds good??? yes?? good..listen..You have your dream job,you having been waiting for this or have unexpectedly landed yourself in it.OK??well, Now you start working on it..preparing projects,hitting deadlines etc.. Tiring you eh??No matter how irritated you are with the job miniscularities,it still is something that you wanted.It’s not easy but hey..it’s something you can flaunt of.. Yeah?? Motherhood is just this..You have landed yourself in it,it’s beautiful,not easy,everyday you are faced with new tasks,deadlines etc.Things will change,your life is not going to be the same.Changes are for the good.A life without change is lets face it..DRY!! and BORING!! You will never be faced with a bigger challenge,and you better conquer it.
7)AM I THE REINCARNATION OF MY MOTHER?
You may find yourself doing and getting irritated at the exact same things that your mum used to at.Don’t be surprised.God has filled mothers with a completely unique system.All of us respond to it the same way.Remember your mum used to say”That dress looks horrible!You need to wear this!”and she used to pick up a dress that you despised and labelled old fashioned or outdated?.Do you find yourself doing the same? Im sure you would do so.There’s no harm being the reincarnation of the lady who bought up such a fine lady as yourself.The way you realise that now,so will your kids.Albeit if there are some scary and abusive bits of your childhood that you find yourself inflicting on your kids,then you really must seek professional help.You should understand the degree of pain and mental imbalance that this troubled childhood has caused and prevent yourself from repeating the same mistake.Such issues need to be addressed at the earliest.
7)MY PRIVACY IS LOST.
Hmmmm…you did know this would happen..You did read all the terms and conditions on the dream job contract Edit😞 Privacy is such a luxury that you can’t even dream of owning for quite sometime,but surely you can rent it out for time being.Remember how fond your mother is of her grandchildren?or how fond your mother in law is of them?.Go ahead grab that opportunity.Go rent some private time,Just you and your love. Leave the kids in good care and rekindle that love oncce again.A day or two of a private vacay with your hubby can do wonders for everyone.
8)I DON’T SPEND TIME ON ME!
Well,shame on you. You should absolutely be not neglecting yourself.Head to the nearest spa and pamper yourself to a day of decadence and sheer indulgence.Feel like a queen,because you no longer are a princess as you have your own lil ones.. remember.??? Or catch up with the gossip that you have been missing up with your girlfriends.Just about anything that makes you happy as an individual.The more you neglect yourself,the more irritated and stressed you are going to feel.My mantra as always” A HAPPY MOM IS A BETTER MOM!”
9)EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION ON HOW I SHOULD RAISE MY KIDS. IM CONFUSED!
Mommy,though you are a novice compared to a mum who has 30-50 years of experience raising children,You know better.Motherhood is a learning process,and very soon you will find that not everytime does”one size fit all”.People do pass on their opinions,like how they would condemn a mother who choses to not breastfeed or how a working mom is stereotyped for not being there for her children.Opinions do matter,but make sure that they do not affect your own.Any opinion passed on to you must go through your filtering process.Make sure it suits you and your lifestyle.Make sure it is for the kids best interest and make sure You are happy fulfilling it.Let not people make you feel guilty for things that always have an alternative.It’s another thing if you would like to trade your colicky baby for that sweet non colicky baby..you then do need to listen to your mother who thinks you are crazy and tells you to go to bed.I guess your mommy is right!You do need rest.😓
10)AM I HAPPY?
Go to where your child is at this very moment.Well… Do you have your answer? No matter how much your child drives you up the wall,causes sleep deprivation,makes you look fat,whines,cries,makes you lose your privacy,and what not. YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD. He/she is that inseparable part of you that you can not live without. Yes, you are happy. Your life has a bigger meaning to it,it feels complete now. You have someone you can exclusively claim as your flesh and blood..literally huh.. You must be crazy to not be happy for all of this.Do i see a smile on your face?? aaahhh… i do… you proud mommy.. and here you were asking all these questions,when the ulterior motive of your life has already been satiated.YOU ARE A HAPPY AND A PROUD MOMMY..
I had a blast writing this post,hope you did too reading it.. signing off for now,my bundle of joy calls for his late night snack..”Gosh!! does he really ever intend to give me a good 12 hours of sleep ever?” **crib crib** ( goes with a cribby face and lights up seeing son smiling at mommy from his wooden crib,1001 nights of mommy’s sleep shall be sacrificed for this smile.)
P.S. :And as usual,mommy is happy,kisses baby goodnight after feed and falls asleep to only dream bout baby calling for her even in her dreams… mommy smiling in sleep.